


what sounds a lot like love

by Jae



Series: what sounds a lot like love [1]
Category: Bandom, Empires, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 12:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jae/pseuds/Jae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1920s crime AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what sounds a lot like love

When Ryan wakes up he stretches against the sheets, his eyes still closed, and reaches out a hand for Carden's cigarette. Carden doesn't give it up at first, not till Ryan grumbles and the sheet falls lower as he sits up against Carden's shoulder. Then he lets Ryan take it, watching as Ryan puts it to his lips and takes an easy drag, practiced. He knows Jon and Tom have been teaching Ryan to smoke in off hours, cigarettes and other things, and Ryan's a natural, at least until it comes to exhaling. Then he coughs and tries to hide it, his lips pursed tight and his eyes watering, and Carden tries, he really does, but he can't help laughing. Ryan's eyes narrow and Carden swallows his laugh quickly, more easily than Ryan swallowed the smoke. He takes the cigarette from Ryan's hand and holds it high, expecting Ryan to grab for it, but Ryan just slides down in bed and turns onto his side, his back to Carden. If this is supposed to be a punishment Ryan should probably think about pulling the sheet back up but Carden isn't going to tell him that. Instead he just sits back against the headboard and enjoys the view.

Ryan pretends to be asleep for a couple of minutes. He pretends badly, which is how Carden knows he's not really pissed. Carden's known him long enough to know that if Ryan's really trying to fool him, chances are Carden'll be fooled, at least for longer than a few minutes. That bothers Carden a little, when he thinks about it, and it bothers him more that it only bothers him a little. So he sits and smokes and doesn't think about it.

After a little while Ryan stretches again and looks over his shoulder sleepily. "Morning, sunshine," Carden says, even though it's early afternoon. Ryan doesn't answer him. Instead he rolls further onto his stomach, dangling one arm over the edge of the bed until he comes up with Carden's shirt. Technically it's Carden's shirt, that is. He bought it and he wore it but it's a white cotton button-down like a businessman would wear, nothing Carden would usually be caught dead in, which is the point of a disguise, he supposes. Ryan sits up on his knees and slips the shirt over his head. Carden hadn't had time to unbutton it all the way the night before. Ryan had been in a hurry, a little drunk, sloppy and slack-mouthed as he leaned against Carden's back and plucked at his clothes. Carden had sworn at them all for letting Ryan get into this state, but Butcher just laughed at him.

"It's a sin for a man not to know how to drink," Butcher said lazily with his own beer halfway to his mouth. "At the very least it's an inconvenience, in this crowd."

"He really didn't have that much," Jon said. "He must not have any tolerance yet, we wouldn't have let him otherwise."

Tom kept his eyes on the label he was peeling from his bottle as he said, almost but not quite too low for Carden to hear, "You're a fool if you think we had to pour it down his throat." If Carden hadn't turned just then to catch Ryan when he felt him shift, he would have missed the look Ryan gave Tom just then, careful and measured. Tom missed it as he looked down at his hands, and Jon missed it as he looked over at Tom. Carden didn't know if Butcher missed it; Butcher missed little but worried about even less. Siska was already asleep, slumped on the floor next to Butcher's chair.

"We've got a job to do," Carden said. "Be sure you're in shape to do it tomorrow."

Butcher raised his beer in a salute and grinned at him. "I'll see to this lot. I think you better get yourself to bed. Looks like the two of you could use some beauty sleep."

"Yes, come to bed," Ryan said with a whine. "Come to bed, I'm so tired, it's time for bed," his hands moving restlessly as Carden held him close to keep him from falling, two fingers sliding into the gap between Carden's shirt buttons, warm against Carden's skin. "Take me to bed," he said. When Carden looked over at him Ryan's eyes were cloudy, half-hidden behind his lashes until he closed them, tilting his head up. There was nothing careful about Ryan's kiss, his mouth sweet beneath the sharp taste of the whiskey as he swayed into Carden, clutching at him, fumbling at Carden's shirt with a drunk's urgent stubbornness. "Take me to bed," he whispered against Carden's jaw, and just like every time Carden stopped thinking about the things he knows he should think about. Instead he kicked the door open behind them and did as he was told.

Now Ryan buttons Carden's shirt carefully up to his neck, then reaches across Carden to the nightstand for the cufflinks. He doesn't pause when Carden lets his hand slide over Ryan's ass, or answer when Carden says, "You cold, babe?" Instead he fastens the cufflinks and then stretches over Carden again, slower this time, leaning all the way over to the floor like he can't quite find what he's looking for. Carden just grins and smokes until Ryan comes back up with Carden's hat on his head. "Nice," he says as Ryan adjusts it thoughtfully, looking at himself in the mirror across the room. Then Ryan leans over him again to the nightstand, even more slowly than before, teasingly, and this time when Carden palms his ass Ryan arches his back and lets his legs open a little.

This time when he comes back up he's holding Carden's gun.

Carden's seen Ryan with a gun in his hands one time before, at the old man's place. It was Carden's gun that time too, and it was the same feeling then that Carden has now, watching as Ryan points the gun at him. A shiver of fear, and respect, and something darker and deeper than either of them, something Carden would be ashamed of, if the life he'd built himself had any room for shame. Ryan looks at him over the barrel, careful and measured, and Carden doesn't flinch.

"That gun's loaded," he says.

Ryan says, "I should hope so."

There's a knock and then the door swings open before Carden can say a word. Slouched in the doorway, Tom is already dressed in his own disguise for the day, a tourist with a camera in his hand. From all appearances he's a tourist with a mean hangover. Tom says, "I thought you wanted to go out on watch by two," and then stops when he sees the gun.

Ryan half turns and lifts up on his knees, pointing the gun in the air. He looks over his shoulder at Tom and Jon behind him and laughs, tipping his hat further back on his head. "Bang," he says as he aims the gun at one corner of the ceiling and then another. Tom laughs and snaps a quick picture as Ryan poses. "Guess who I am?" Ryan says, smiling down at Carden.

"The resemblance is uncanny," Jon says. "Hey, careful," he says as Ryan bends down and leans his head against Carden's, pressing the gun against Carden's chest, right over his heart. Carden doesn't flinch when he hears a click, but he takes a quick breath he doesn't let go of until Tom's flash flares in the dim room.

"Bang," Ryan whispers into his ear. "I got you," he says, and lets the gun fall.

When Carden takes the gun away Ryan kisses him, hot and reckless, one palm spread over Carden's chest where the gun rested a moment before. He doesn't pull away until Tom coughs and says, "So, you coming?"

"No," Carden says, short like it's none of Tom's business, not like he's breathless. "Bill last night had something for me to check out, I've got to take care of that."

"It's a two-man job," Tom says. "I can't cover both doors at once." Behind him Jon stiffens but doesn't say anything. Looking at them, Tom tall and rough, even now when he's dressed like a yokel on his first trip to the big city, and Jon fresh-faced and innocent in the rich boy clothes they'd found him in, you'd think Tom runs things between them. But the first time Jon had ever spoken to him Tom had done what Jon had said, and Carden still isn't finished being pissed at Tom over it. Jon had stumbled onto the job they'd pulled three months ago, cub reporter in the right place at the wrong time, standing in the middle of the bank taking pictures like an idiot instead of huddling with the other customers or at least trying to hide. He'd even followed them out onto the street, and if he'd been shot down right there for his trouble, as he should have been, Jon wouldn't have even had a valid complaint. But when Tom raised his gun as the rest of them piled into the getaway car, Jon said, "Don't." He didn't sound scared, maybe just a little surprised. He didn't even say please. Maybe it was just sheer shock, Carden thought, that made Tom stare at him and then let his gun fall, even as Carden howled, "What the fuck are you doing?" from the front seat and Butcher gunned the engine. At least Tom had the presence of mind to grab Jon's collar and haul him into the car with them, instead of leaving a witness behind with a camera full of pictures.

Of course, by the time they got back to the hideout they'd missed their chance to get rid of Jon. Carden suggested killing him, but he knew it wouldn't go over, not in cold blood, and not once they'd spent forty-five minutes in the car with Jon while he asked them questions that only Siska answered, while Jon wrote down every answer conscientiously in a little notebook until Butcher laughed and said, "B-U-T-C-H-E-R, make sure it's spelled right, kid," and then reached over into the back seat and grabbed the notebook and tucked it into his shirt. When Jon protested Tom tapped Butcher on the shoulder and then handed the notebook back to Jon. He wouldn't answer any questions, though.

From that day to this Tom has been scrupulous about two things: making sure Jon gets what he wants, except for one thing, which is the second thing Tom is scrupulous about. Jon never goes on a job with them.

It's fucking stupid, as Carden shouted at Tom more than once, and as Butcher explained to him over and over. If nothing else they should have taken him on one job, made sure he got seen by a few witnesses, just to make sure Jon has as much to lose as the rest of them. Just to make sure he doesn't decide to try and take off with his notebook one day. Tom just shook his head and let them talk, then kept his mouth shut for a long time, the way he did sometimes. Carden would have sworn sometimes that Tom was slow, though Butcher said it was just that Tom liked to be sure before he spoke. The last time they fought about it Carden had said, "Maybe you should shove off then, if you don't like how I run things," even though they didn't have anybody who could get into a safe the way Tom could. He hadn't apologized, or taken it back; he knew Butcher would make it up with Tom before morning, so he just took himself off out of the way for the night. When he came back he heard voices in Tom's room and paused outside, to hear if Butcher had smoothed things over yet. Instead he heard Jon saying, low and urgent, "Tommy, don't be stupid, let me go with you. Just this once, it'll make the guys happy and I'll be fine – I want to, even, I want to go, I want to see what it's like. I want to write about it. Let me go –"

"No," Tom had said. Jon started talking again and Carden had turned to go when he heard a noise behind him. In the dark hallway Tom stared at him, his bedroom door closed behind him, and then said, "I want his hands kept clean. If he ever – if he wants to leave, then he won't, he won't be in trouble, he can go back. If he wants to."

"You're a fool," Carden had said, and Tom looked at him the way he did sometimes, like he was rolling Carden's words around in his mind, looking at them from all sides like he thought he'd find something hidden, secret. Finally, just when Carden had given up on him and started back to his own bed, Tom had said, "Yes." He said it not like a shameful confession, as it damn well should have been, but like he was almost proud of it. He said it like Carden has just given him a name for something he'd been looking for. "Yes," Tom had said. "About him I am," and Carden had left him alone in the dark.

Now Jon doesn't offer to go with Tom, doesn't say he wants to tag along, doesn't tell them how much he could help. He never does. God knows he's quick enough to throw in his opinion about every other damn thing, just like he's one of them, but about this he never does.

"If you need another man you'll have to wait for Butcher to get back," Carden says.

"It'll be too late by then," Tom says, and Ryan says, quick and sharp like he's been waiting for his chance,

"I'll go."

Carden laughs. He should have known, when Ryan let him take the gun away. There are about a thousand Agency men who'd disagree, but Carden's not naturally good at thieving. He had to learn how to do it. Ryan, though – Ryan's never been on a job but from the first time Carden saw him he's known. Ryan's a born thief. He takes what he wants, not like Carden does, without flinching at the cost. Ryan doesn't even think about the cost. He takes what he wants, and if he gives something up, it's because he knows he'll be taking something else away, something valuable, something you didn't even know you could lose until it's gone. Carden hadn't even let himself think about how he'd wanted to keep Ryan out of the job, how he'd wanted to keep Ryan clean. He laughs again just thinking about it. If Ryan wanted anything clean, he wouldn't be with Carden.

"You letting him go?" Tom says, and Ryan turns and looks at him. Carden meets his eyes. Carden's not a born thief but by now he's a good one. Whatever he takes he doesn't flinch at the cost.

"Sure," Carden says, and Ryan leans in and kisses him. Then he gets up, his legs long and pale under Carden's shirt, and heads into the bathroom.

Slouched in the doorway Tom looks at Carden for a long time. Then he says, "You're a fool." He says it the stupid way he says things sometimes, like he thinks naming something's the same as knowing it, like he thinks knowing you're lost has anything to do with being found. Carden sits back against the headboard and lights another cigarette and stares back at him. Finally Jon says, "Let it go, Tommy," and Tom follows him down the hallway.

When Ryan comes back he's dressed in clothes he must have gotten from Tom or Jon, a small-town suit of clothes bought straight off the rack, nothing like what he usually wears. Carden would smile to see him, maybe, another day. Instead he looks Ryan up and down and says, "I know what you're up to, you know."

It's the first lie he's ever told Ryan.

Ryan smiles back at him. "I should hope so," he says, and kisses Carden before he leaves for the job.


End file.
